Thoughtful Resources
Find the you in your life again
We can be so busy taking care of life’s needs; raising children, careers, family functions, ailing parents, marriage, friends, sick time off work (lose of routine). But when do we come up for air? When do we have time for ourselves and our needs?
My biggest problem was finding the time to pursue my own interests. I felt guilty like I should be ‘working’, there’s always a load of laundry to do, dishes in the sink, or some to-do list waiting for me. But is that how you want to live your whole life? Those jobs will never finish, and sometimes we say, ‘when I feel happier, I will do something fun’, or ‘once this problem is solved in my life then I’ll take a break’. But life keeps coming. I would rather let the dishes go a night unwashed, and I can go to bed smiling knowing I got to do something soothing and enjoyable for myself.
To try including some of my own interests I wanted to pursue, I had to find the time. So, I started looking for little pockets of time where no one needs me. I had 20 minutes in the morning and about an hour and a half before I went to bed. So, in the morning I did some stretches and lifted a small weight for 5 minutes. In the evenings I made a cup of tea I enjoy, I pulled out my puzzle that’s been on my mind and had my own fun. I noticed because of this new routine; I felt lighter in life and felt a little inner joy for myself. I started looking forward to those little pockets of me time. I felt a sense of control in my life and of my own time.
If your older and find now the kids have ‘left the nest’ you might be feeling the house is a little empty. Or you realize you and your partner forget how to talk to each other. This is a great time to find your passions! You’re not the same person you were before kids and neither is your partner, so this is a great time to date each other again. You can both find interests that you can share and talk about together.
If you’re not sure where to start, I made a small list of hobbies to help you get started (see below). Or check out our Community Centers page for locations offering activities you can share with others! Have Fun!
Building Your Life
Seeking Help Is Self Care
If you're struggling with life and the stress is holding you hostage. Its okay to ask for help.
There's more help out there now than ever before.
Your Mental Health
A very important self care step is taking care of your mental health.
When you have multiple days in a row where you can't function at 100 %. Your body is trying to tell you something is off. It won't always be the big things. You burnt dinner and the kids are getting hangry. Your spouse called and they ran out of gas driving home from work. Your shift changed at work and now you need to find a babysitter ASAP or you lose income you need.
Take A Deep Breathe
You're not alone. Repeat that to yourself, I ARE NOT ALONE.
Everyone has times like this in their life. You can call it a test, a sign, stress, distraction, overwhelmed. Whatever you call it, its healthy to recognize when you've reached a breaking point, or a limit.
If these life events 'get the better of you' as in, you're struggling to keep your emotions under control or you want to reach for a substance to 'just take the edge off' or you imagine running away from life just to get some peace. This is an opportunity for growth!
See it, Name it
When you recognize what you're feeling, you are taking the first step in identifying there is a problem. Good work. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a great way to learn about emotions.
Name the feeling to yourself, 'I am feeling .....', reassure yourself 'Its okay to feel....' and try to be curios and explore why, 'I am feeling...... because. Then try to explore what would help you cope or manage that feeling, ' I feel I need to ....(healthy options).... to help myself'. (see below)
https://izumitherapy.com/name-it-to-tame-it-the-power-of-labeling-your-feelings/
Healthy Options
There are some things you can do to help you cope or potentially regain your stability when you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed. A good idea is to write a list of things you enjoy.
Some list ideas can include:
- Breathing. Great for calming the nervous system. There are techniques listed below
- Walking, going for a walk to get some fresh air, can calm the parasympathetic nervous system and give you time to review what you experienced
- Call a friend or family. If you have someone you can trust in your life to reach out to, it can help by talking things through sometimes
- Call a therapist or councilor. I know that can be very scary the first time, but they have great service
- Journal your feelings and thoughts, this can help you process events and getting them out of your mind can help calm your nervous system
- Hobbies. Great for finding simple joys in life. If you don't have a hobby then this gives you a great opportunity to see what you like. Hobbies can be individual and independent or done in groups or teams.
Volunteer - Give back
Supporting your local community by helping with public events or non-profit initiatives. This can give a sense of purpose and fulfillment, and it can help with physical or mental health issues. Spending time helping people can also increase your skills base and connect you with other opportunities.